really bad day

i had a very good morning but in the afternoon it gone bad.'elephant'eats my lunch.where is its mouth!so my lunch is bread....i did housework for whole day.wakao,tire leh.when Melody open the fridge then i see my lovely chocolate left half!who is that stupid fool stole my chocolate?tat time i cant believe that because of this small matter my tears come out.....im very angry of the thief.i created a new acount on facebook because of the previous acount is disabled.something wrong with tat.....im going to hide my chocolate somewhere now....

last exam day

today is thursday n i thursday because can rest.wake up this morning 5 .35a.m n go jog when 6.10.i jog until 6.30 then back home n rest after that prepare to go school.wah my mind very fresh n clear.feel so good~actually i hate every morning because of the boring assembly.....after that we go back class n wait the exam time reach.when i do physic paper till half,he n his friend passed my class.he cant see me because i sit beside the door n the door is hiding me.haiz disapointed a bit lar~when the mt paper all of us keep talking with the mt teacher because he is teacher in charge n is our friend's father.hehe.when the time left 10 minutes the situation more worse.we all walk to friend's place n copy the answer.the whole class did that!even though we play cheat but i think also wont pass the mt paper.....just now i try to sign in my facebook acount but cant.there write-acount disabled.bloody hell...my pet society already play for a long time n have some good result but now give me this problem!left 3 months i can see him.....

人家没说讨厌你可是你也可以感觉到可是你无法去阻止他去讨厌你。我自认现在在讲话方面很小心和处世方面也小心可是还是避免不了。哈哈。我学会了用乐观的态 度以及比以前更不勉强人。有时候发生某件让我生气的事时在下一秒我马上告诉自己不管怎样都要微笑。真的有效耶，之后我的心情变得很好也不受接下来发生的事 影响。是瞒有成就感的！一些人不想和我讲话那我就自己自动找别的事情做当作没这一回事。辛苦吗？当然不，因为我对每件事情都想通了。虽然面不可貌相可是相 处时可以感觉到他对你的想法。我很敏感吧.....

second exam day

Is tired to wake up in this morning,i hate because not enough sleep!today have BI,PM,BC,BL and MM exam .when BI paper i nearly dont know how to do the literature because i dont undetstand!when the last exam paper im glad because i can do.hahahaha.when i see my friend's paper some page are blank.i know they didnt study....i think tomorow's paper im going to die first because is chemistry and physic!how am i going to do....when the sejarah teacher be the teacher in charge my friend asking my question then suddenly he shout at us n call us sit down!shit!not only me the one who standing that time but he mentioned us!mek~mek~mek~i hate this calling.

放学的时候，我想和他一起走所以我站在那里等一下，看看是否后看见他的踪影。果然我看见他了，然后就赶快走过去。我看了他一眼别不敢再看因为我觉得不好意思。他故意放慢脚步可是我不想走那么快啦。铁门还好还没开所以我马上跑向惠梦因为不敢一个人面对着他。当我们渐渐走下坡时，惠梦故意往他的方向推我一把，还好我既是发觉不然可惨了。我没那么笨吧。我相信下一次我一定勇敢去跟上他的脚步。总有一天吧......

衰事

this morning i really feel tired n dont want go to school but i need to go.first thing happened,wei mong take a bag for me which is belong to my sister.then i waited mei chin to come.she walk very slow la n when we go down to the 'tapak perhimpunan'the prefect said that we are late have to stand there.shit!luckily they gave chance.....then after going back to class is having sportcheck again.omgness!i thought the bag wont 'kena rampas'but the prefect said yes.......luckily she didnt take the bag away,my heart suddenly pump blood back.then the last period is caught small pig's period.everybody know she always let student back late.unfortunately when the bell rang she cant hear..haiz i think im going to let my mother scold because she waited me for so long.when i rush out from the class i can see my mother's car not there already!luckily i met joyce.she helped me to ask the aunt whether got pass Grammar?i saw she knod her head.wow!no need to walk back n have car to fetch me.thank you joyce!

exam week

exam this tuesday but i dont care n just keep talking in the class with friend.one of my friend say my blog very ‘gan dong',haha but i dont think so because of those of my words.really suprised today our school came 3 'ang mo',hehe.now only i know that the new student is leng cai than our class one,lol i wan change lar.he has blue eyes and thick eye brown.i very happy when tat time i with my friend play a fool at cantin.hahaha.i really laugh until cant breath....and today i speak english with my little friend,hui xian.lol she's agreement really out of my mind.i really have a nice day today n after came back from yoga i feel my back is pain....when i need you just close my love and im with you...

a very good saturday

i love to wake up late in the morning.hehe.the air feel fresh n clean.kia~kia~go to tuition like normal and watch tv but i din study.lol.lazy girl....

free time

wake up in the morning sure walk to the computer n switch on the switch.hahaha.i borrow 6 books from MCA library.some are talking about love n some are talking about ways to become pretty and jokes.i really scare i can read finish them because the exam is coming soon.about 5 days more for me to prepare.haiz.i do not study but when think of exam i feel stressful!when i go down stairs n see left,i saw my friends.i know they go 'lim-teh',leisure betul nih.i think im going to play cheat when exam this time because im not ready for it....

thursday

today i didnt attend to school because im tired n longing to wake up late.haha.lazy right?i remembered when my father open the door n ask me to wake up n say why din go school?i said stomach pain.hahaha.i lied....after wake up straight away switch on the computer and watch HK film.haha.nice!do housework n mt work for half day n watch tv again.thursday 9pm show Magic's Secret Revealed on channel AXN.cool man!really excited for it.i found my sister have left the eye lotion.the eye lotion is for lightening under eye circle.hehe.i going to fight for it for 6 weeks.hope it works!

tahan

我的班是全form 4最肮脏的班。丢脸死了。。。因为这样下课的时候就必须在班里打扫。11点下课，11。15却可以去食堂吃东西了，好快呀。当我正走去食堂的时候，他正站 在食堂门口。我知道他正看着我可是我不敢再去多想。买了食物就坐下来吃。只剩10分钟巡差员就进来赶学生回班。直到我吃剩半个云吞时，他正在看着我，多不 好意思呀。这样的情况让我没胃口吃下去，只好倒掉。我很喜欢他注视着我，我也喜欢注视着他。我可以感觉到不管我走到哪里，他的眼睛都跟随着我。我感受到他 对我的存在感是瞒在意的。可是我偏偏喜欢。当我走到楼梯时，他故意加快脚步和我一起上楼，心里有点儿高兴和紧张。可是放学的时候我却在他走之前就和朋友走 了。回头看了一眼，心里掩着失望感走下坡。我不知道这一切该形容成什么可是我依然坚决。

有时我感到很矛盾因为看报纸时会提到怒气和伤心是必须表达或发泄出来的，可是一旦发泄周围的人都不好受那我该怎么办？好辛苦呀。上了form 4我才发现到家里是我的避风港。我越来越喜欢呆在家里的感觉，很舒适又没压力。今天去瑜伽舒缓了我在学校的压力也让我变得更清爽。哪知瑜伽过后竟然下起雨 来，倒霉死了。我只好硬着头皮走在雨中。好在雨下得不是很大不然我可辛苦了。为什么不打电话叫父母来载我？那是因为身无分文以及没带手提。。。没关系一切 都是意外

trip

last friday we went to ipoh,is really fun!sunday we went to langkawi.wow takes 4 hours from ipoh to kedah and then sit ship to Langkawi.
New Frontiers 6!cool man!this is the ship we sit to langkawi















when reach there we rented a car.














when we start the car engine then petrol light is RED.omg need to put petrol.haiz....after eating we ask the hawker where is the petrol station.after 15 minutes finally reach.then we went to Underwater World.is quite far la.we got the wrong road!wasting time.....finally asking a shopkeeper then we got the right.it is big and raining tat time!here are the underwater animals..












chambered nautilus



























stone fish.weird....















sea cucumber.
when 6 clock we give back the car and sit ship go back to kedah















a mountain looks like a woman

happy

today is my group oral day.we are going to fight for our marks!we are the group 4 to perform,very nervous......before perfoming,my heart beat fast n my hands cold.after performing,i begin to swaet n hot!lol really a bit funny.all of them laugh n happy,me too.the full marks is 40 but all of us get 34,for me is high.haha.conclusion,we have a fun oral today.after schooling,when i step in the house my brother said tomorow we are going to Ipoh n then go Langkawi.WooYeah!Great!i going to buy chocolate,food,and many many things i want!im desperate!when i told my little friend,vivian her eyes become 'sphere'.haha.funny,i can see she draw 3 sraight line on her head.wakakaz~tomorow im going n monday just come back.hehe absent school for one day. i can imagine my friends are studying n suffering in school but i am enjoying.excited!

finally

im worry about many things this morning but now everything is settle.feel good......tomorow going to oral and im going to my best.add oil for myself.exam is coming soon,need to study and do more exercise.after yoga,i can feel that my muscle is stretching.

same

today at school i began to talk much....haha.after biology period,me n my 2 friend went to form 1 n 2 block to go toilet because my block toilet dont have water!hell.....when im in the toilet n my friends wait me outside.i heard somebody say my name but i dont know what are they talking about.when i come out,i see left side,my friend standing there then i see right side,my eyes pointed to a name tag which same name with me.absolutely same!omg!laugh immediately. one my friend told me when she is asking where is liting,then the girl who same name with me looked at her.they still dont know what had happen.hahaha.i knew somebody same full name with me last year but i havent seen her face.now i have seen.she is pretty than me leh and she is a prefect but im not prefect n pretty n im half bad student.hahaha.absolutely 2 girl with not same attitude,lol exactly....when the bell ring,i stand behind my friend to wait for the opening of the gate.the guy i like also stand in front of me but i try to stay normal.i know he could hear our conversation.im enjoying look at him and thinking of him only for every morning.lol.this afternoon while walking to tuition,my pencil box drop into the drain.what the hell!is dirty and ugly n smelly as shit!when tuition,my friend give me a lot of fun n joke.i feel good...we eat junk food together n 'sampak' together.kia~kia~one of my friend say hotlink user can sms 1 cent n talk for 12 cent.oh really very cheap!this make me change my mind from using digi .now im going to change new numbers .hehe

bad news!my sister have chicken pok when she is 20 something years old.i think she is suffering now, may god bless her.countdown 11 from now.....

'talk'

in my 16 years life,today is the least talk day.today i sit at my place and read my novel.i read that novel for whole day in school.i didnt gossip with my friend....u also feel curious,right?i also dont know the reason.nowadays i like to sit there alone to read my books.i lend those books from mca library really open my mind n make me more clear in thnking.feel good now.yeah!evrything seems ok now....

我想你们听一下我心里想什么

给我的朋友：

今天我想了又想，想跟你们讲些事情。当你们再说些要去travel的时候，我很想跟可是我不能因为我家里经济负担很重。我爸 爸已经老了，可是还要供我两个 姐姐，我还有我弟弟读书。还要在经济上对家人的付出，若我这个时候跟他讨钱，只会是一个不孝子。家人每个一年travel的次数都很少，自有我一个。他们 在为每样东西苦恼，只有我在快活，我很不忍心。当你们正在说要去和下午茶，我很想跟，可是我没钱。家里经济负担重，我又正在还债（欠弟弟），一个星期只有20令吉，在 学校省吃省喝，不多花费。当我想你们诉苦，你们却当我在讲笑。当一个人正在还债时，不会要任何的花费，而你却令我要花冤枉钱，所以当时我的心情非常得不 好，脸也非常地苦。你们非常不能体会我的感受和处境。还加盐加醋。我觉得你们当我是一个棋子，对吧？利用来利用去，尤其是卢国豪。没人想揭破他是因为不想 把关系弄得糟糕。我细心的观察每一位朋友对待每个人的态度，只有你让我觉得很讨厌。为什么你要利用你的朋友去达到你要的目的，这样的行为非常可恶。就好像 一个例子，在前几个星期你突然我想和我讲话，可是在英文节的时候，靖雄叫我去malam bakat 帮忙，当我在犹豫时，这时候你叫我去顺便叫淑欣和祖汶一起去。我知道你当时正在利用我陪你一起去因为你不想一个人。看！这不是利用叫什么？我问你，你当朋 友是什么？！当你的棋子吗？为什么不能用自己的能力去做某样事情，增加自己的自信心和魅力。你不需要这些东西因为你不用自己的能力去达到目的，而是去利用 朋友！我真心地去对待我个朋友，我会尽力地去帮你们。还有为什么做错事不敢承认，是因为怕挨骂对不对，这样的行为让人很不舒服。看了很想把眼睛挖下来。也 有一个例子，那一晚我们走路去打保龄球时，使你不小心踩到美珍的拖鞋破，你却不敢承认，这个机会让积辉帮你背黑窝。你已经16岁了，成熟一点好吗？有责任 感一点好吗？勇敢承认错误好吗？我会把他们名字写出来不是想唱衰他们是因为想告诉他们我要讲的是什么，我心里对他们的想法。当然为什么不当面说出来是因为 怕撕破脸。我不管他们又没有看我的blog，至少这样舒缓我的痛苦.......

new day

today absent at school.all the period very sienx and i feel angry when i see them!i do add maths and go yoga today.i feel fresh after yoga.its really good.im going to wake up early tomorow to fry chicken chop n make black pepper sauce.im going to bring to school to eat as my breakfast.only think of that i feel so good!hehe....please bless me can wake up early.....

坚信自己的观念

today,i see their side of false.i am chilled to the bone.......i cannot find the shoulder i can use.i wan to shout at them and say 'bloody hell!what you want me to do!can you stop hurting me?!i completely collapse.......they dont like to give and take.dont talk something shitty behind me,i knew it!is you!is you!take away your heart from me!your heart is nausea and disgussting!i hate it!obviously!absolutely!completely!what the hell!bullshit you!get away from me......you are vampire!you are ghost!get out from here!

两个自己

去补习或和朋友出门，我都站在镜子前面，很久，很久，衣服换了一套又一套，一直找不到适合自己的。最后，还是换了一件短裤和T-shirt。在学校，我很 难做自己，一旦做自己，别人无法忍受，所以只好多一个自己，是瞒辛苦的。我的啰嗦，自信，懒惰在学校完全看不到，只有另一面既能忍和烦恼才出现。我是那个 遇鬼说鬼话，与人说人话的人，只要话题不冷，我也可以插一脚，那个是第二个的我。其实的我非常冷漠，没自制的人。我很想做别人，他们的那份自在，让我妒 嫉。平时的妒忌心和非常自私的一面只会表露无疑在家人面前，他们能迁就我，能忍我，能关心我，能每天爱我多一点，朋友不能，以为他们只为自己想，对自己大 方。我渴望爱，我缺乏爱，不然我的心容易在刹那间出现裂痕。简单的一句温暖的话，能温暖我的心。我不需要甜言蜜语，我只需要直接的关心话。

感触

看太多太多的小说，朋友经历的爱情，某些韩国偶像剧，有很多很多的心得。中学时期的爱情不能长久，即使长久，出到社会时，有太多的诱惑，抵挡不着诱惑时， 感情就开始破裂。他们会想拍拖是因为看太多偶像剧，成人戏，小说及好奇。我爱你？这不是真真的爱，只是想学成人恋爱。其实，只能称得上喜欢，对吧。当受到 伤害时，才知道可怕。有些则大胆到竟敢偷藏禁果，我就知道是因为看太多的成人戏 。哈哈。说真的，我也想拍拖呀，可是不敢，又不知道对方的心意。不敢踏出第一步是怕受伤害，我凭着第六感也能感觉到对方也这样想，所以双方都没有进一步的 发展。很可笑耶。朋友问我喜欢的人是谁，帮我追他。哈哈哈，我真的没胆说出来，我怕说出来，全校都会知道，好丢脸呀。其实我心里也渴望着，但是没胆去行 动。一切都算了吧，他出校过后我应该是会把他忘了，免得朝思妄想耽误学业。明年应该真真的放下他了，在这样下去一定会崩溃。

迷失

我独自在黑夜里摸索，迷失了原有的方向，什么也找不到，很怕，很怕，很怕。刹那间，我看见一丝丝的光芒，就离我不远，追了上去。别走，让我站在你身边，让 我索取你的温暖，你的爱，你的关怀，你的一切。你却好像听不到，故意把耳朵藏起来，来把我推向最深处，那就好像一个无底洞，永远都逃不出来。是你让我有一 丝丝的希望，可是又是你把我最需要的希望给破坏，你可知道对我有多重要！黑夜里，看不见扶持，看不见热情，也看不见希望。你只会给我我不需要的东西，我要 的你却咬在嘴边，得意地向我示威。我不要！我不要！我不要！你让我觉得辛苦，痛苦。自卑，自愧，自我，自嘲，只有在黑夜里看到，其他的我却一点也看不 到。。。当 我伸出脚时，在下一秒又缩回去，我不知道脚下踏着是什么东西，我只知道害怕。犹豫，犹豫又犹豫，在黑夜里也找不到答案，答案到底在哪里？我很想知道。忍了 很久，很久，很久，眼泪终于很不睁气地滑了下来，没停过。用手去触摸地上，只有我知道是湿的，没有人愿意去触摸，他们不想，不敢，不要。一刀一刀地用力的 插下去，我的心破了，血没了，我的爱也没了。很想自救，很想求救，但是又有哪个人会经过这里。他们都自私地把心藏在地底的最深处，没人愿意分享。分一半给 我好吗，让我知道你，了解你，可是你说没这个需要。。。无言的我只好依然站在原地不动，不敢动，不愿动，不想动，不要动。动不了，我的手和脚，甚至心也被 梆着了，是谁，是谁把我梆着。挣扎，挣扎了很久，还是逃脱不了这个陷阱。我的心顿时感到很紧，紧紧地揪着，怎么办？怎么办？很无力，无奈，我用尽了一切还 是没办法。我的肩膀就快跨下来了，上面很重的物品把我压得喘不过气来，呼吸越来越沉重。那双脚不停地在跑道上奔驰，速度越来越慢，力气也慢慢地消耗完，我 知道总有一天一定会是这样。太辛苦了，太疲劳了，但是总停不下来因为前面的路没有尽头的。